Free Write #1

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Here's the first of what will probably be a lot of silliness called Free Writing. There will not be appropriate spacing, punctuation, or paragraphs. This is a literal tumbling of thoughts out of my head. I won't even edit it. Enjoy:

Dear friends,

Here it is. I miss writing and I let it get crowded out of my life this year. I'm so glad that Tim and I are sitting in bed writing. I can't wait to read his new story! It's going to be so good. There are so many things I want to do more. I want to make time for them. Playing guitar. It's gathering dust and that stinks because I'm sure someone somewhere would love to have it, hold it, play it even more than I want to but I don't. And reading. I read but not nearly enough. Reading is such a beautiful time. It's great to sit with a good book, blog, or magazine and enjoy God's presence and inspiration as he sits by me and we read. Singing. Wow I was in an a cappella group. I should sing. Maybe I should take lessons? But I should at least sing because it's so fun and uplifting and connects me with God in a way nothing else ever will. I miss it. And writing letters. It's been a while. Letters are so special to me. I'll have to do that soon. I miss so many people. Moving is hard but it's beautiful to have friends and family in so many places. This city is really beautiful and important to us. I'm sure we'll visit. I hope we visit regularly but I know we have to put down roots in Chicago too. What a beautiful place! Chicago. But we don't even know where we're going to live. But we don't have to know. God always provides amazing things. Like our car! It's still like a dream. I'm not into pinching myself but I'm ever so thankful that God saw fit to bless us with that car. That one in particular. It's so pretty! Well cool-looking. I enjoy it. And it's fun to drive! Instead of being careful and afraid of what will happen, I can be cautious and comfortable and reminded that God's loves us and takes good care of us. He really does give good gifts. I want to write about that. Our Thanksgiving car story. And what an amazing Thanksgiving we had! God is so good. There's never enough time to remember and write about all the crazy good things he does and the crazy good times we have together. I can't wait to see him face to face. But I can wait. Haha! I know I can't handle the glory! It's so intimidating to be vulnerable like that. I really need to let go of all my inhibitions and let God do what he wants to do. That's so hard. I'm too proud, too selfish. I care too much about what conclusions people will draw about me. But really, it's all about Jesus. Even if writing and posting my soul to the internet is just an exercise of faith and vulnerability for me, it's worth it. Although April will also appreciate me sharing weird things I do and don't do. Oh deodorant. We'll talk about that later. I'm an entire year behind on reading Relevant Magazine! That's so shameful. Where did the time go? I guess I haven't been prioritizing very well this year. [Jesus, please help me to prioritize better. It's all up to you to make it happen, God. I pretty much can't do it apart from you... like everything. You're awesome.] I'm sleepy now. Goodnight friends!

Love,
Rebecca Danae

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