Lost For Words

Dear friends, This has been a pretty good weekend. We didn't go on a trip or do anything special. It was just a good balance of restful and productive activities; we gave and we received. It feels rare that we have a weekend like that so I'm recording it, thanking God, and hoping to repeat this balance for many weekends to come! I wanted to share a journal entry from yesterday and maybe write more about what was happening in my Heart: Saturday, September 24, 2016     A little after sunrise " This has been a lovely quiet time. I don't think you're giving me the answers to all my questions or problems. But, thankfully, that's not what I'm seeking today. I'm here to be with you. It's so refreshing and restoring just to be with you. All day, most days, I feel compelled to solve a problem in life so I can finally rest and be happy. But you said 'do not let your Heart be troubled.' I can choose rest even with problems unsolved! I've b

Here's the first of what will probably be a lot of silliness called Free Writing. There will not be appropriate spacing, punctuation, or paragraphs. This is a literal tumbling of thoughts out of my head. I won't even edit it. Enjoy: Dear friends, Here it is. I miss writing and I let it get crowded out of my life this year. I'm so glad that Tim and I are sitting in bed writing. I can't wait to read his new story! It's going to be so good. There are so many things I want to do more. I want to make time for them. Playing guitar. It's gathering dust and that stinks because I'm sure someone somewhere would love to have it, hold it, play it even more than I want to but I don't. And reading. I read but not nearly enough. Reading is such a beautiful time. It's great to sit with a good book, blog, or magazine and enjoy God's presence and inspiration as he sits by me and we read. Singing. Wow I was in an a cappella group. I should sing. Maybe I sho

Dear friends, I struggle to be still when I could be serving. If there's something left undone, I feel like I have to do it. If there's someone left unheard, I feel like I have to give them my time and attention. If there's a need, I have to meet it to the best of my ability. I'm learning (and have been for years) that it's not always God's intention to have me meet every need or cram every service opportunity  into my day. Jesus' life on Earth must have been overflowing with opportunities to give time, teaching, a listening ear, and hugs to people in need. There must have been an extremely high demand for his powers to heal, cast out demons, and resurrect loved ones! And Jesus knew he could do it. So why did he spend 30 years living among us before he began his ministry? Was carpentry his true passion? Was he reluctant to fix problems? Did he not really love us?  I believe, like with everything he did, Jesus waited with purpose. I won't pretend to

During the summer of 2009 I participated in a leadership training program at the YMCA of the Rocky Mountains in Estes Park, Colorado. Some friends and I occasionally visited another city called Boulder to chat with people on the street and share the gospel. This story is about a particularly amazing evening in Boulder. I was in a group with two friends and we were excited to meet people and share God's love even though we were nervous and didn't really know how to get started. We decided to pray before pursuing a conversation. During our prayer, I felt very strongly that God was telling me we should remain where we were standing. It was a pretty weird idea so I hesitated to tell my friends about it. But one of them asked if we should get going so I replied saying, "I think we should just stay here for now." One of them asked why. Knowing that people freak out if I ever say I heard from God, I just insisted that it was a good location to scope out the area and find

In college I developed a strong friendship with one of my pastors, Wayne. He became my primary mentor and partner in ministry. One day I came to him with some concerns about dating. I didn't want to date, I didn't see anyone worth dating, I sometimes had crushes (which I hated), and I didn't like the guys that like me. How was I supposed to know when to give someone a chance? We were eating some awesome lasagna because it was Home Fellowship night. We kind of ditched the fellowship to have this discussion. Wayne assured me that it was okay to have crushes and it was okay not to accept every suitor. He explained it in a way I never would have believed coming from most other people. "You're God's daughter. Since God's the King that makes you a Princess. So you are a treasure. Any man that doesn't see that is not worth dating!" With a mouth full of lasagna I said "thank you." I was stunned. I had never made those connections befo

One day I was spending time on the streets of Chicago with a few friends. We met a lot of people that day but one in particular stood out to me. His name is Tony. We found Tony sitting on a metal post at the end of one of the bridges that cross the Chicago River. He was dressed poorly for the chilly weather and looked exhausted yet content. We approached and asked if we could sit with him and talk for a while. He welcomed us into his space. We shared a little about ourselves and asked Tony about his own story. He shared a most surprising tale considering his circumstances.  "I've been homeless for a few years now. I had trouble paying my bills and ended up evicted and without anyone willing to hire me. So I try to find work here and there but it's hard to get consistent work when I can't even clean myself up! I mostly sleep outside but sometimes make enough to get a room for the night. It's great to be able to shower and have a warm meal every now and then."